“Worst [insert musical element here] ever” lists have always been controversial: How can you say any song by the Beatles is the worst ever, for instance, when a billion other god-awful songs have been written that never see the light of day (one such list made for a hilarious Tina Fey Amy Poehler SNL spoof for which I unfortunately cannot find the video). Making a list for worst elements of a song, such as a guitar solo, is even more dubious, as (a) millions of crappy guitarist who ever picked up a guitar have butchered “Stairway to Heaven” and “Freebird,” and (b) the standards for good solos vary based on genre — one punk’s trash is another metalhead’s treasure (Buckethead, for instance) and vice versa (Robert Quine).
But Dan Hopper VH1’s Best Week Ever blog comes up with a pretty damn good list of worst guitar solos ever, by defining its standards as eschewing the “jaded-guitarist approach and rip on the solo in ‘Freebird’ for being indulgent or the solo in ‘One’ because “OMG Metallica SUXXXX!!!” I’ve instead put together a list of just 10 Hilarious Attempts at Guitar Solos that never fail to make me laugh, in the hopes that, unlike every music-related comment board on the damn Internet, we can actually agree to enjoy something. (So you see, the title of the post is just unapologetic linkbait).”
Consensus is hard to come by, but if you’re going to cherry pick bad solos, at least Hopper is being honest about it. It’s also hard to deny that a number of the solos he picks out here are bloody or hilariously awful. This may be the best list VH1 has ever done (and there are like 20 million to choose from):
For those too lazy to watch the video (but it is worth it) here’s the list:
10. Weezer: “Beverly Hills”
9. Sheryl Crow: “All I Wanna Do”
8. Oasis: “Champagne Supernova”
7. David Hasselhoff: “Get In My Car”
6. Joan Jett: “I Love Rock & Roll”
5. Lil Wayne: “Lollipop” (Live on SNL)
4. Prince: “Te Amo Corazon”
3. Divinyls: “I Touch Myself”
2. Donnie Iris: “Ah Leah!”
1. Twisted Sister: “We’re Not Gonna Take It”
There will be objections of course. “Twisted Sister is great.” “Joan Jett’s punk, so of course she’s gonna suck!” Do you guys think that these are all hilarious awful, or at least awfully hilarious? Dish it out in the comments.