Damn you, To-Mera! Here I was, going through my life perfectly content in my principled loathing of Dream Theater’s over-ambitious wank-metal, chiding at the idea of a diva vocalist ever fronting a worthwhile heavy metal band. Then you have to come along and make me doubt myself. How can your lengthy songs be so complex yet always seem like they’re going somewhere? Why does your fantastically named Hungarian lead singer Julie Kiss triumph where the singers of Lacuna Coil and Therion have failed so mightily? What kind of crazy Tantric powers does your insanely talented guitarist Tom MacLean possess such that he can keep himself from masturbating all over the place? And how can you switch from nasty thrash riffs into epic keyboard-driven sections without drowning in Velveeta? Answer my questions, To-Mera! Otherwise, I shall have to listen to Transcendental on repeat until I have unlocked your secrets. But I will. Oh yes, I will.