Entries taken from the Delmore Schwartz Dictionary of the English Language:
Function: noun, guitar virtuoso, feedback generator, elder statesman.
Etymology: Bob Dylan, Modern American literature, S&M, Chuck Berry, heroin, childhood shock treatments.
1. Singer-songwriter who famously infused elements of sadomasochistic sex, drug usage and addiction, and psychosis into American rock ‘n’ roll in the 1960s while fronting the ridiculously seminal Velvet Underground. 2. Solo artist who has experimented with glam, soul, rock ‘n’ roll, punk, prog, and sheer noise. 3. Has done more for drug intake and guitar output than Keith Richards. 4. An elder statesman of rock ‘n’ rock lyricism who abandoned drugs in the 1990s for clean living, varied albums.
See also: Bowie, David; Cale, John; Nico; Pop, Iggy; Quine, Robert; Warhol, Andy.
Metal Machine Music
Function: noun, album, noise, pain, yin.
Etymology: migraines, heroin, feedback, heroin, Lou Reed, heroin, hitting rock bottom, heroin, yin.
1. Solo instrumental album performed and recorded in 1975 by Lou Reed, consisting of nothing but shrieking feedback loops for one hour. 2. A raw-nerve amplifier howl made from the jack-hammered soul-pit of junkiedom. 3. Cynically produced anti-product for record label, noncommittal fans. 4. Logical if unbearable evolution of the Velvets’ “Sister Ray.”
See also: Worst Albums of All Time; Most Interesting Albums of All Time.
Hudson River Wind Meditations
Function: noun, album, calm, peace, yang.
Etymology: inner peace, focus, artistry, Lou Reed, meditation, Brian Eno.
1. Solo instrumental album performed and recorded in 2007 by Lou Reed, consisting of ambient guitar and keyboard noise loops. 2. A slow-fog wave-drift caress made from the relative calm of an artist at peace, or near it. 3. A collection of gently pulsing, sinusoid rhythms intended to quietly overwhelm the background cacophony of the everyday. 4. Soothing, aural dopplergraph songscapes used to aid in Tai Chi, bodywork, and meditation. 5. What androids playing nursery rhymes under water sounds like.
See also: Brian Eno’s Apollo (1983); Sigur Ros’s Von (1997); Most Ironic Musical Sequels of All Time.