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Wooden Wand sets the record straight

Wooden Wand sets the record straight
When you're the frontman of a group of freak-folking, mystical gypsy types (at least on the surface), it's easy for people to get the wrong idea about you. Apparently Wooden Wand (he of Wooden Wand & The Vanishing Voice) got tired of these false conceptions, because we received a list of misconceptions and things we didn't know about Wooden Wand in our mailbox. It's pretty enlightening stuff. So, as a public service, allow me to reprint the list in full, so that others can be similarly educated. You'll find it after the jump, along with tourdates.
10. Wooden Wand'''s move to Tennessee from New York was merely a lifestyle choice and had nothing to do with his work. It has had no bearing on his music whatsoever, so please quit asking. People move -- it's not a big deal.
09. He does not, at present time, practice any particular religion exclusively. He considers himself a Zen nihilist barbarian.
08. He listens to a lot more Steely Dan than Pink Floyd and doesn't much care for Skip Spence's solo work at all.
07. He is an avid gun enthusiast and is a life member of both the National Rifle Association and Gun Owners of America.
06. He is often criticized for releasing too much music, but certain bands have released many more "official" releases in as much time without the critical scrutiny heaped upon our humble hero Wand. Besides, no one said you had to buy all the records. Wand believes that being a musician and writing and releasing a mere ten songs a year is like being a carpenter and taking a decade to erect a birdhouse. His words, not ours, so please don't hate us, Scott Walker or Kate Bush. Y'''all are great.
05. He is happily married to the goddess Satya Sai of the Vanishing Voice, who, by the way, does ninety percent of the vocals in said band, despite what most reviews claim, and is, FYI, the "girl" on the cover of Hush Arbors' recent ''"messterpiece''" Landscape of Bone.
04. His extended family includes late actor Vincent Gardenia, Chicago Cubs general manager (and former Met) Ed Lynch, Desperate Housewives' Andrea Bowen, and Type-O Negative's Peter Steele.
03. He shares little of the flawed utopian philosophies of his immediate contemporaries. He does not eat hummus and, on most days, he really doesn't much give a shit where you drill.
02. He's been considering writing a novel and has recently switched from bourbon to tequila for this upcoming tour.
01. Scott Ian of Anthrax once lectured a twelve-year-old Wand that he was ''"too young to be smoking joints.''" He was right. (They totally got high together anyway).
The thought of a young James Toth and Scott Ian getting high together makes for an awesome mental picture.
Tourdates:
10/01 New York, NY Glassland Gallery*
10/02 Cleveland, OH The Church*
10/03 Chicago, IL Empty Bottle*
10/04 Omaha, NE O'Leavers*
10/05 Denver, CO Hi-Dive*
10/06 Salt Lake City, UT TBA*
10/13 Sacramento, CA Fools Foundation #@
10/14 Davis, CA TBA #@
10/15 San Francisco, CA Hemlock Tavern #@
10/16 Eugene, OR Cozmic Pizza #@
10/17 Portland, OR Someday Lounge #@
10/18 Seattle, WA Gallery 1412 #@
10/20 Big Sur, CA Fernwood Lodge #@
10/21 Los Angeles, CA Echoplex (ArthurNights) %
10/22 Phoenix, AZ Modified Arts ^
10/25 Austin, TX Red Scoot Inn ^
10/26 Houston, TX The Proletariat ^
10/28 Nashville, TN - Ruby Green
10/29 Knoxville, TN The Pilot Light ^
10/30 Chapel Hill, NC Night Light ^
10/31 Washington, DC Rock and Roll Hotel ^
11/01 Baltimore, MD Golden West ^
11/02 Philadelphia, PA TriTone ^
11/03 New York, NY - Mo Pitkins (Fanatic Promotion Acoustic Afternoon) ^
11/04 Brooklyn, NY - Uncle Paulie'''s (Free Agency Showcase) ^
11/08 New York, NY - Knitting Factory *
11/09 Purchase, NY - Purchase College *
11/10 Harrisonburg, VA - James Madison University*
* Wooden Wand and Satya Sai
# West Coast Revue (Includes members of the Sky High Band, the Vanishing Voice and Sky Green Leopards)
@ Skygreen Leopards Open
% Wooden Wand Solo
^ Sky High Band
- Blogging is stupid, because Jared Leto says so Bob Dylan Six degrees of Bob Dylan
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