For the uninitiated: River Falls, Wisc., is a backwaters town with nothing to do other than to drink yourself into oblivion and maybe go to a karaoke bar. Seriously, there’s not even a Target there. The only other thing you can do is to beat the shit out of one of your fellow River Falls residents. And when those things meet, then you’ve got yourself one hell of a night. A night like Kyle Drinkwine (see, even names in River Falls involve booze) has earlier this month.

Drinkwine was charged by the River Falls police for beating up two men after one of them gave a lackluster performance of Ronnie James Dio’s “Holy Diver.” Drinkwine’s BAC was at .169, twice the legal limit, and he said he only started fighting after one of the men he allegedly beat up made fun of his jewelry (as if this wasn’t trashy enough).

One of the guys Drinkwine allegedly assaulted has contacted the Smoking Gun because he wasn’t concerned about how he was beaten, but because it was originally reported he was mocking Dio in his karaoke version, and he said that he really loves Dio and tried to pay homage to him in his performance.