Wil Wheaton Sets Phaser to Whoop Ass Over Joaquin Phoenix's Proposed Floyd Rap

February 4, 2009 10:07 p.m. by Mike Burr

Wil Wheaton, who will forever be fondly remembered as space-Doogie Wesley Crusher, has apparently threatened nascent rapper Joaquin Phoenix with physical violence if he continues with a proposed "hip-hop version of Pink Floyd's The Wall." Posting on FARK.com, Wheaton (or someone posing as him) had this to say:

 

I swear to god, I will farking fight him if he goes through with this. Build a Thunderdome, motherfarkers, because I have my A game ready. I knew you when you were Leaf, Joaquin! I know where your weak spots are, and I will fight so farking dirty you'll be cryin' for your momma. Who I also knew when you were Leaf, and is a lovely woman.


Following the link back from the comment indicates that the poster is probably Wheaton and not a Trekkie who arrived to the site late and found all Worf-related screen names were gone. There is no information at this time about whether construction on any Thunderdome-like structure has begun or Danny Bonaduce will be fighting the undercard versus MC Frontalot. [FARK]

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29 Responses

February 4, 2009 at 11:20 p.m.

This is totally baffling...
February 4, 2009 at 11:33 p.m.

Two things, guys: I'm not Wesley Crusher, and it's a joke on Fark. See the big /SERIOUS BUSINESS thing I threw in there? The part that you cut out when you quoted me? The part that made it clear that this is just a joke? That should have alerted you.
February 4, 2009 at 11:38 p.m.

Hey Wil, thanks for the clarification.
February 4, 2009 at 11:59 p.m.

So...he's saying that I should stop building a Thunderdome and tell Bonaduce to go home?
February 5, 2009 at 12:03 a.m.

Celeb comment! Whoop! Whoop!
February 5, 2009 at 1:54 a.m.

Look, I for one believe it is an artistic sacrilege for Joaquin to even insinuate a rap version of any Floyde work. It is in fact worthy of a beat-down... You Go, Wil!
February 5, 2009 at 5:18 a.m.

you guys do know that joaquin is full of sh#t
February 5, 2009 at 9:23 a.m.

Sooo
The pussy from Stand By Me who cried when he had a leech grafted to his balls his threatening violence?

LAUGH
OUT
LOUD
February 5, 2009 at 9:41 a.m.

HAhahaha... oh shît this is the best.
February 5, 2009 at 10:03 a.m.

B/\NGER , it's called acting. Or do you believe that Ewan McGregor can use the force, also?
February 5, 2009 at 10:03 a.m.

B/\NGER , it's called acting. Do you think Ewan McGregor can channel the force, too? :-D
February 5, 2009 at 10:03 a.m.

"The pussy from Stand By Me who cried when he had a leech grafted to his balls his threatening violence?"

Problem with reality much? Gordie LaChance didn't threaten anyone. (Hint: That's a character in a movie. From 20? 25? years ago. Not a real person.)
February 5, 2009 at 10:18 a.m.

Ummmmmm, nope.
Sorry, but I just talked to him the other day.

AND HE IS STILL WRITING STORIES.
HE NEVER STOPS TALKING ABOUT VERN.
I'M LIKE "DUDE, ENOUGH ABOUT VERN, THE FAT KID!"

AND HE'S LIKE "LOOK, DUDE, I'LL CRY RIGHT NOW IF YOU DON'T STOP YELLING AT ME...JUST LIKE THE TIME I HAD A LEECH GRAFTED TO MY NUTS!"

AND I'M LIKE "DUDE, OK. I'M SORRY! PLEASE TURN OFF THE OLDIE STATION!!!"

True story.
February 5, 2009 at 11:06 a.m.

Yeeeah. I just talked to Miss Cleo the other day, too. She said "You about to come into a lot of money, mon!"
February 5, 2009 at 11:10 a.m.

B/\NGER has friends in high places. Very impressive.
February 5, 2009 at 11:16 a.m.

Well played Banger. Well played.
February 5, 2009 at 12:06 p.m.

<---Villain
February 5, 2009 at 1:39 p.m.

Internet. SERIOUS BUSINESS.
February 5, 2009 at 1:46 p.m.

I can't believe Canseco didn't beat Bonaduce.
February 5, 2009 at 2:18 p.m.

lol dc
February 5, 2009 at 4:10 p.m.

LMAO I love that Wil even had to defend that comment in the first place. If you couldn't tell that was a joke, you need to not be on the internet, much less Fark
February 6, 2009 at 2:18 a.m.

The Fat Kid From Stand By Mehas recently impregnated Rebecca Romaijn-Stamos.

I know this because I saw it on Comedy Central.

Moral of the comment: I was born after 1980.
February 6, 2009 at 12:27 p.m.

She is damaged goods.
February 6, 2009 at 12:43 p.m.

If not for what the "star' of Kangaroo Jack did to her, definitely for what Uncle Jesse did to her.
February 6, 2009 at 12:47 p.m.

This thread need more Wesley Crusher.
February 6, 2009 at 1:08 p.m.

At least she looked good in x-men.
February 7, 2009 at 3:23 a.m.

watch "DEAREST JOAQUIN PHOENIX" on YOUTUBE

watch "DEAREST JOAQUIN PHOENIX" on YOUTUBE

watch "DEAREST JOAQUIN PHOENIX" on YOUTUBE
February 7, 2009 at 11:08 a.m.

No.
February 12, 2009 at 4:38 a.m.

If it makes Joaquin happy then more power to him. Stepping out of the sick circle of Hollywood should be applauded.. The media and its public consumers have no problem trashing those who stay as their star dwindles-hip hip hooray for the one who steps out in his prime. If he comes back to acting he will only be better for his courage to leave it.

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