Watcher of Puppets

    Swedish metal fans, Michael and Karolina Tomaro, are currently wrapped up in a court battle for the right to name their baby daughter “Metallica,” the AP reports. The Swedish National Tax Board, which seemingly has some real weird commie powers, is refusing to register the name. Whether or not this is a good idea (hint: it’s not), parents should have every right to name their kids any dumb thing they want, no? Plus, naming your child after a more tasteful, homegrown group like Peter, Bjorn, & John would be wildly confusing. The funniest thing is that they have precedent on their side, as another Swedish lady is currently rocking Metallica as a middle name.
    Normally, I might accuse the parents of light child abuse in such an instance, but this is a Swedish girl we’re talking about, so genetics might well spare her some male taunting at the very least. No one will be laughing in twenty years when young Metallica Tomaro leads Scandinavian black metal into yet unseen mainstream popularity. That billboard might be pretty confusing though…