VH1’s 100 Greatest Hard Rock Songs list only slightly less annoying than their hip-hop list

    Last week saw the airing of yet another VH1 special that features "hilarious" people and music icons counting down a list of dubious credibility. This time it was their list of the 100 Greatest Hard Rock Songs, and it was hosted by Bret Michaels, who didn’t even pretend to care like he was interested in participating. (Plus what’s the deal with his hair? It looks like large spools of thread lined up along the back of his bandana.)

     

    There were some obvious problems with the list, principally the definition of "hard rock." Does it mean songs with guitars? Screaming? Loud drums? Or recorded on Amethyst? (rock joke). No one really explains. 

     

    But at any rate, Guns N’ Roses’ "Welcome To The Jungle" got top honors, cementing VH1’s recent mission to kick off a hair-metal revival. How that could beat out any, any, song in the Led Zeppelin songbook, is beyond me, but it chiefly beats out "Whole Lotta Love" and "Kashmir" here.

     

    To be sure, there are some terrible inclusions on this list– White Zombie, Winger, Andrew W.K., Europe, Buckcherry, and Evanescence, to name a few of many– but overall, it’s less annoying than their list of the 100 Greatest Hip-Hop songs

     

    Here’s the full list:

    100 Sammy Hagar – "I Can’t Drive 55"
    99 Grand Funk Railroad – "We’re An American Band"
    98 Buckcherry – "Lit Up"
    97 The Edgar Winter Group – "Frankenstein"
    96 Kansas – "Carry On Wayward Son"
    95 Creed – "Higher"
    94 The Darkness – "I Believe In A Thing Called Love"
    93 Autograph – "Turn Up The Radio"
    92 Night Ranger – "Don’t Tell Me You Love Me"
    91 Smashing Pumpkins – "Bullet With Butterfly Wings"
    90 Jethro Tull – "Aqualung"
    89 Andrew W.K. – "Party Hard"
    88 Alice In Chains – "Would?"
    87 Winger – "Seventeen"
    86 Marilyn Manson – "The Beautiful People"
    85 Velvet Revolver – "Slither"
    84 W.A.S.P. – "I Wanna Be Somebody"
    83 Evanescence – "Bring Me To Life"
    82 Rainbow – "Since You Been Gone"
    81 Black Sabbath – "Heaven And Hell"
    80 Journey – "Any Way You Want It"
    79 Billy Idol – "Rebel Yell"
    78 Bad Company – "Feel Like Making Love"
    77 Soundgarden – "Black Hole Sun"
    76 Lita Ford – "Kiss Me Deadly"
    75 The White Stripes – "Seven Nation Army"
    74 The Cult – "Love Removal Machine"
    73 Thin Lizzy – "Jailbreak"
    72 Pat Benetar – "Heartbreaker"
    71 Jane’s Addiction – "Mountain Song"
    70 Foreigner – "Hot Blooded"
    69 Living Colour – "Cult Of Personality"
    68 White Zombie – "More Human Than Human"
    67 ZZ Top – "Tush"
    66 Europe – "The Final Countdown"
    65 MC5 – "Kick Out the Jams"
    64 Rollins Band – "Liar"
    63 Survivor – "Eye Of The Tiger"
    62 Dokken – "Breaking The Chains"
    61 Ratt – "Round And Round"
    60 Skid Row – "18 And Life"
    59 Billy Squier – "The Stroke"
    58 Stone Temple Pilots – "Interstate Love Song"
    57 The Kinks – "You Really Got Me"
    56 Warrant – "Cherry Pie"
    55 Blue Oyster Cult – "Don’t Fear The Reaper"
    54 Faith No More – "Epic"
    53 Steppenwolf – "Born To Be Wild"
    52 The Runaways – "Cherry Bomb"
    51 Megadeth – "Peace Sells"
    50 Red Hot Chili Peppers – "Give It Away"
    49 The Stooges – "Search And Destroy"
    48 Korn – "Freak On A Leash"
    47 Kid Rock – "Bawitdaba"
    46 Anthrax – "Madhouse"
    45 Foghat – "Slow Ride"
    44 Cream – "Sunshine Of Your Love"
    43 Dio – "Holy Diver"
    42 The Clash – "Should I Stay Or Should I Go"
    41 Quiet Riot – "Cum On Feel The Noize"
    40 Poison – "Talk Dirty To Me"
    39 Boston – "More Than A Feeling"
    38 Queen – "Stone Cold Crazy"
    37 The Who – "My Generation"
    36 Van Halen – "Hot For Teacher"
    33 Alice Cooper – "School’s Out"
    34 Heart – "Barracuda"
    33 Green Day – "Basket Case"
    32 Ted Nugent – "Cat Scratch Fever"
    31 AC/DC – "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap"
    30 Pearl Jam – "Even Flow"
    29 Joan Jett – "Bad Reputation"
    28 Foo Fighters – "Everlong"
    27 Whitesnake – "Still Of The Night"
    26 Lynyrd Skynyrd – "Free Bird"
    25 The Ramones – "Blitzkrieg Bop"
    24 Iron Butterfly – "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida"
    23 Ozzy Osbourne – "Crazy Train"
    22 Jimi Hendrix Experience – "Hey Joe"
    21 Led Zeppelin – "Kashmir"
    20 Bon Jovi – "You Give Love A Bad Name"
    19 Rush – "Tom Sawyer"
    18 Scorpions – "Rock You Like A Hurricane"
    17 Twisted Sister – "I Wanna Rock"
    16 Kiss – "Rock And Roll All Nite"
    15 Motley Crue – "Dr. Feelgood"
    14 Iron Maiden – "Run To The Hills"
    13 Def Leppard – "Photograph"
    12 Judas Priest – "Breaking The Law"
    11 Deep Purple – "Smoke On The Water"
    10 Motorhead – "Ace Of Spades"
    09 Van Halen – "Runnin With The Devil"
    08 Aerosmith – "Walk This Way"
    07 Nirvana – "Smells Like Teen Spirit"
    06 The Who – "Won’t Get Fooled Again"
    05 Metallica – "Enter Sandman"
    04 Black Sabbath – "Paranoid"
    03 Led Zeppelin – "Whole Lotta Love"
    02 AC/DC – "Back In Black"
    01 Guns N’ Roses – "Welcome To The Jungle"

    [VH1]