The Onion rags on pretentious instruments

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Home » News » The Onion rags on pretentious instruments

The Onion rags on pretentious instruments

September 20, 2006 9:11 p.m. by John Zeiss

This week's Onion has an inventory of 10 highly pretentious musical instruments. Pretty funny stuff. Although how does the mandolin not get on there? That little fucker is pretentious as a Fassbinder film festival.
Read the list...

WTF

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Switchfoot: Vice Verses (December 28, 2010) preview

Glasses Malone: Beach Cruiser (2010) preview

Three 6 Mafia: Laws of Power (2010) preview

Smashing Pumpkins: Teargarden by Kaleidyscope (2010) preview

78Violet: 78Violet (2010)

Dru Hill: InDRUpendence Day (2010) preview

Jadyn Maria: Man's World (2010)

Lyrics Born: As U Were (December 28, 2010)

Lostprophets: The Betrayed (December 28, 2010)

Mike Jones: Expect the Unexpected (December 28, 2010) preview

Nick Lachey: Coming Up for Air (2010) preview

RichGirl: RichGirl (2010)

Achozen: Achozen (2010) preview

Chilli: Bi-Polar (December 28, 2010) preview

Rob Zombie: Hellbilly Deluxe 2 (2010) preview

JJ Star: How Embarassing (December 28, 2010)

Slum Village: Villa Manifesto (2010) preview

Mark Morrison: I Am What I Am (2010) preview

Peter Gabriel: I/O (2010) preview

Fefe Dobson: Joy (2010) preview

Mark Morrison: King of British R&B - The Best of Mark Morrison (2010)

Shontelle: Licky (2010)

School of Seven Bells: Disconnect From Desire (2010) preview

Tweet: Love, Tweet (2010) preview

Goapele: Milk & Honey (2010) preview

Ricki-Lee Coulter: Hear No, See No, Speak No (2010)

Lemar: Greatest Hits (2010)

Foxy Brown: Black Roses (December 28, 2010)

Busta Rhymes: The Chemo (2010) preview

Mistah FAB: Da Yellow Bus Rydah (2010)

Saves the Day: Daybreak (2010) preview

Deltron 3030: Deltron Event II (2010) preview

Necro: Die! (December 28, 2010)

Lil Fate: Do You Believe in Fate (December 28, 2010)

Maria Lawson: Emotional Rollercoaster (2010)

Eluveitie: Everything Remains as It Never Was (2010)

Of Montreal: False Priest (2010) preview

Devo: Fresh (2010) preview

Tego Calderon: Mr. T (2010)

Pastor Troy: Be Ready To Kill (2010)

Kutt Calhoun: Raw N Unkutt (2010)

The Cool Kids: When Fish Ride Bicycles (2010) preview

Eve: Lip Lock (2010) preview

Christina Milian: Elope (2010) preview

U2: Songs Of Ascent (2010) preview

Eminem: Relapse 2 (2010) preview

Patrick Wolf: The Conquerer (2010) preview

Lupe Fiasco: Lasers (2010) preview

Chip Tha Ripper, Kid Cudi: The Almighty Gloryus (2010)

Beastie Boys: Hot Sauce Committee Part 1 (2010) preview

Cassie: Electro Love (2010) preview

Jadakiss: Top Five, Dead or Alive (2010) preview

Kat DeLuna: Inside Out (2010) preview

Lil Wayne & Juelz Santana: I Can't Feel My Face (2010) preview

Ja Rule: Venni Vetti Vecci 2010 (2010) preview

Leela James: My Soul (2010)

Macy Gray: The Sellout (2010) preview

Missy Elliott: Block Party (2010) preview

Big Boi: Sir Luscious Leftfoot ... Son of Chico Dusty (2010) preview

Dr. Dre: Detox (2010) preview

Krayzie Bone: The Fixtape Vol. 4: Lyrical Paraphernalia (2010)

Swizz Beatz: Life After the Party (2010) preview

Saigon: The Greatest Story Never Told (2010) preview

Lil Wayne: Tha Carter 4 (2010) preview

Raekwon and Ill Bill: Weed vs Cocaine (2010)

Chingy: 1st Quarter (2010) preview

Redman: Reggie (2010) preview

Good Charlotte: Cardiology (2010) preview

Jojo: All I Want Is Everything (2010) preview

Juelz Santana: Born to Lose, Built to Win (2010) preview

Nina Sky: Starting Today (2010) preview

Paradiso Girls: Crazy Horse (2010) preview

Rich Boy: Buried Alive (2010) preview

The Dream: Love King (2010) preview

Tina Parol: Shrinking Violet (2010)

Yung Berg: The Love Project (2010)

Yung L.A.: Futuristic Leland (2010)

Evidence: Cats and Dogs (2010) preview

Christina Aguilera: Bionic (2010) preview

Bone Thugs N Harmony: Uni5: The World’s Enemy (2010) preview

The Streets: Computers And Blues (2010) preview

Young Jeezy: Thug Motivation 103 (2010) preview

Plies: Goon Affiliated (2010) preview

Soulja Boy: The DeAndre Way (2010) preview

Young Dro: P.O.L.O. (Players Only Live Once) (2010) preview

Deftones: Eros (2010) preview

Rick Ross: Teflon Don (2010) preview

Lil Jon: Crunk Rock (2010) preview

Joe Budden: Mood Muzik 4 (2010)

Joe Budden: The Great Escape (2010) preview

Joell Ortiz: Free Agent (2010) preview

Vinnie Paz: The Assassin's Creed (2010)

Daft Punk: Tron Legacy OST (2010) preview

Days of the New: Presents Tree Colors (Purple) (2010)

Gary Numan: Dead Son Rising (2010) preview

The Devin Townsend Project: Deconstruction (2010)

The Devin Townsend Project: Ghost (2010)

Cyssero: Destined for Greatness (2010)

Warmen: The Evil That Warmen Do (December 28, 2010)

Shining: Shining VII - Fodd Forlorare (December 28, 2010)

Betzefer: Freedom to The Slave Makers (2010)

Hot Hot Heat: Future Breeds (2010) preview

Blaze Ya Dead Homie: GangRags (2010)

Jay Electronica: Act II: Patents of Nobility (2010) preview

Hillsong: Con Todo (2010)

Mitch Allan: Clawing My Way to the Middle (2010)

Drake: A Thing Of The Seasons (DVD) (2010) preview

Terrace Martin: The Demo (2010) preview

Jojo Pellegrino: Real Spit (December 28, 2010)

Mikkey Halsted: Darkroom (2010)

Mikkey Halsted: Chicago: The Photo Album (2010)

Intuition: Girls Like Me (2010)

Consequence: Movies on Demand (2010) preview

League 510: To the Beat (December 28, 2010)

Lo-Pro: The Beautiful Sounds of Revenge (2010)

Blaqk Audio: Bright Black Heaven (2010)

The Soft Province: The Soft Province (2010)

The Ataris: The Graveyard of the Atlantic (2010) preview

More Upcoming Albums