The Apocalypse Is Nigh Because They’re Making A ‘Hungry Hungry Hippos’ Movie

    When people complain that Hollywood doesn’t have any original ideas anymore, it’s hard not to sympathize. The highest grossing movies of the past few years appear to be an assortment of comic book characters, young adult literature adaptations and remakes of TV shows that no one liked 30 years ago. 

    But film studios may have finally gone too far: they’re making a movie version of Hungry Hungry Hippos

    In a sign that popular culture is finally collapsing in on itself, production company Emmett/Furla has obtained the rights to film an animated children’s version of the board game, according to Vulture

    Right now, you may be yelling at your computer screen, “What about Battleship!” What about Battleship, indeed. At least that movie had potential. It could have been campy and over the top, but no one ever utters the line “You sunk my battleship!” 

    Hungry Hungry Hippos doesn’t even have a catchphrase. What will the movie even be about? Hippos that eat a lot? A group of children who have to feed them? Magical white pellets that the animals have to consume but that hellishly never fill their always-empty stomachs? 

    Call me when they adapt Sorry! I have some ideas for it. Larry David will star, and he’ll spend the entire film exacting revenge on a guy who refused to apologize for bumping into him.