There's a big report out in today's Guardian about how Simon Cowell is basically making a shit load of money and is trying to dominate the entertainment industry like some kind of British, white-toothed Genghis Khan. But the biggest news is that Cowell, whose contract on American Idol is up in 2010, has been offered between $108 million and $144 million A YEAR to continue on the show. You could buy so much shit at the dollar store with that kind of cheddar. Hell, you could buy so many dollar stores with that kind of cheddar.

There are a couple conflicting reports that Cowell's offered deal is actually worth around $72 million a year. But that's got to be bullshit because that's like chump change for a man of Cowell's taunting talents. I mean, $72 million? That's like a slap right across the face. 

Seriously though, he makes $36 million a year right now, and all he does is sit in a chair for four months and taunt people who clearly can't sing but are on the show to try to be famous. And then he shills for Coke by drinking out of their cups, and he trades homoerotic barbs with Ryan Seacrest. I'd do that job for $25,000 a year. I'd even wear Coke clothing everywhere I go. FOX, you know how to contact me. [Idolator]