It’s been a top-notch year for Top Dawg Entertainment, the independent record company founded by Anthony “Top Dawg” Tiffith. Having formed the company in 2004 around the promising talents of a then-unknown Kendrick Lamar (K-Dot at the time), Tiffith’s label roster 13 years later suffices as a testament to the sharpness of his business instincts.
Damn, Lamar’s fourth studio album released last April, was the rapper’s second Billboard-topping album, as well as his third straight platinum-selling release for the label. TDE r&b songstress, SZA, meanwhile, has finally marked a date for her widely anticipated debut LP and unleashed a video for “Love Galore” featuring Travis Scott. The intoxicating “Broken Clocks” single recently followed. All this while receiving the blessings of Wu-Tang polymath, the RZA.
And with ScHoolboy Q and Kendrick’s “Black Hippy” mates, Ab-Soul and Jay Rock, also shining prominently on the TDE roster, surely, there must be some sort of secret formula to account for such a consistent outflow of musical mastery.
It turns out that, in fact, there is.
2017 goals: shut up and look ugly for the homies pic.twitter.com/D2AN3olgLW
— yung content 뤀 (@lukashmayyn) June 7, 2017
And thanks to a photo posted to ScHoolboy Q’s Snapchat (and subsequently luckash MAYYN‘s Twitter), we’ve been acquainted with the hysterical document that that contains the said formula.
Apparently posted somewhere in Top Dawg’s studio facilities, the printout titled “STUDIO RULES, BITCH!!!” enumerates the codes one must abide by to ensure a fruitful Top Dawg recording session. The strictures cover all the imperatives of fostering a healthy work environment, including phone limitations, weed etiquette, and physical appearance pointers.
The laws of Top Dawg Entertainment studios read as follows:
1. If you ain’t one of the homies don’t be Instagramming you creepy muthafucka. I don’t wanna look on yo twitter and find a creepy ass pic of me or one of the homies, matter of fact, No Twitter or Instagram in the studio! Act like you been around a bunch of rich niggaz from the bottom before!
2. If the homies just met you and decide to clown yo bitch azz, sit there and deal with it. It’s part of the creative juices.
3. Don’t touch, ask, or reach for Q’s weed, unless he thinks you cool enuff to pass it to you. We only smoke stersonals around here boy.
4. Shut up and look ugly for the homies.
5. Remember these rules and you might get a meal out the food budget!