As if to provide irrefutable proof that it’s officially tapped out of new ideas and wholly lacking in creativity, Hollywood is reportedly working on a remake of The Bodyguard – with Rihanna cast in the role played by Whitney Houston in the 1992 original. According to the New York Daily News, the
retread update will be a “young and sexy take” on the 17-year-old film. The newspaper also reports that Channing Tatum – who, for the record, I’d never heard of before just a few seconds ago – is on the short list to take over the Kevin Costner role. The News quotes a source close to the production as saying, “Before the situation with Chris, Ri was getting a lot of scripts. She’s been wanting to do movies for a while now.”
A few questions immediately come to mind in light of this whole thing. What’s up with the film’s soundtrack? Will a bunch of new songs be written for it? And what’s going to happen with I Will Always Love You? Will those of us who lived through it the first time be forced to again endure another seemingly endless series of months with that song playing everywhere? Only this time sung by Rihanna with – I dunno – an auto-tuned rap by Jay-Z shoehorned somewhere between the verses or something? I’m genuinely wondering.