NME Announces Uninspiring Nominees for Annual Awards

    The NME has announced the nominees for its annual Shockwaves NME Awards, which indicate that the magazine operated in an alternate universe in 2009—one where Kasabian, Kings of Leon and Mumford & Sons made important contributions to the music world. 

     

    The winners of the awards will be announced at a special event at the Brixton Academy in London on Feb. 24, where Oasis might win Best British Band despite doing nothing other than splitting up, and Kasabian’s West Ryder Pauper Lunatic Asylum may actually be in with a shot of winning Best Album of 2009.

     

    To prove that we haven’t stopped taking the meds and these nominations are actually real, here’s the full list:

     

    Best British Band (sponsored by Shockwaves)

    Arctic Monkeys

    Biffy Clyro

    Kasabian

    Muse

    Oasis

     

    Best International Band (sponsored by 4music/T4)

    Green Day

    Kings Of Leon

    Paramore

    Vampire Weekend

    Yeah Yeah Yeahs

     

    Best Solo Artist

    Dizzee Rascal

    Florence And The Machine

    Jamie T

    Julian Casablancas

    Lady Gaga

     

    Best New Band (sponsored by USC)

    The Big Pink

    Bombay Bicycle Club

    Mumford & Sons

    The xx

    La Roux

     

    Best Live Band (sponsored by Tuborg)

    Arctic Monkeys

    Kasabian

    Muse

    Radiohead

    Them Crooked Vultures

     

    Best Album (sponsored by HMV)

    Arctic Monkeys: Humbug

    Kasabian: West Ryder Pauper Lunatic Asylum

    Muse: The Resistance

    The Cribs: Ignore The Ignorant

    The Horrors: Primary Colours

     

    Best Track (sponsored by NME Radio)

    Animal Collective: ‘My Girls’

    Arctic Monkeys: ‘Crying Lightning’

    Florence And The Machine: ‘Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up)’

    Jamie T: ‘Sticks N’ Stones’

    The Big Pink: ‘Dominos’

     

    Best Video (sponsored by NME TV)

    Arctic Monkeys: ‘Cornerstone ‘

    Biffy Clyro: ‘The Captain’

    Kasabian: ‘Fire’

    The Maccabees: ‘Can You Give It’

    Oasis: ‘Falling Down’

     

    Best Live Event

    Blur at Hyde Park

    Jay-Z at Alexandra Palace

    Muse at Teignmouth

    Oasis at Heaton Park

    The Dead Weather at Shoreditch Church

     

    Best Festival

    Download

    Glastonbury

    Reading And Leeds Festivals

    T In The Park

    V Festival

     

    Best Dancefloor Filler

    Dizzee Rascal And Armand Van Helden: ‘Bonkers’

    Florence And The Machine: ‘You’ve Got The Love’

    La Roux: ‘In For The Kill’ (Skream Remix)

    Lady Gaga: ‘Poker Face’

    Yeah Yeah Yeahs: ‘Zero’

     

    Best TV Show

    The Inbetweeners

    Never Mind The Buzzcocks

    Peep Show

    Skins

    True Blood

     

    Best Film

    (500) Days Of Summer

    In The Loop

    Inglourious Basterds

    The Twilight Saga: New Moon

    Where The Wild Things Are

     

    Best DVD

    Kings Of Leon: Live At The The O2 Arena

    Flight Of The Conchords: Complete HBO Second Season

    The Killers: Live From The Royal Albert Hall

    The Mighty Boosh: Future Sailors

    Nirvana: Live At Reading

     

    Giving It Back Fan Award

    Kasabian and Noel Fielding for free ‘Vlad The Impaler’ video

    Danger Mouse for leaking ‘Dark Night Of The Soul’

    Lily Allen for her Twitter ticket treasure hunt

    Arctic Monkeys for their Oxfam golden tickets

    Vampire Weekend for giving away ‘Horchata’ from the album ‘Contra’

     

    Hero Of The Year

    Beyoncé Knowles

    Noel Gallagher

    Rage Against The Machine

    Matt Bellamy

    Alex Turner

     

    Villain Of The Year

    Noel Gallagher

    Liam Gallagher

    Simon Cowell

    Kanye West

    Lady Gaga

     

    Best Dressed

    Lady Gaga

    Liam Gallagher

    Noel Fielding

    Florence Welch

    Karen O

     

    Worst Dressed

    Lady Gaga

    Matt Bellamy

    Katy Perry

    Liam Gallagher

    Elly Jackson, La Roux

     

    Worst Album

    Green Day: 21st Century Breakdown

    Lady Gaga: The Fame

    The Jonas Brothers: Lines Vines Trying Times

    U2: No Line On The Horizon

    Arctic Monkeys: Humbug

     

    Worst Band

    Green Day

    Oasis

    Jonas Brothers

    Paramore

    JLS

     

    Hottest Man

    Head to NME.COM now to rate possibles including Alex Turner, Liam Gallagher, Peter Doherty, Matt Bellamy, Brandon Flowers and Julian Casablancas

     

    Hottest Woman

    Head to NME.COM now to rate possibles including Lily Allen, Alison Mosshart, Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Florence Welch and Karen O

     

    Best Website (excluding NME.COM)

    Muse.mu

    YouTube

    Facebook

    Twitter

    Greenday.com

     

    Best Album Artwork

    Muse: The Resistance

    Green Day: 21st Century Breakdown

    Kasabian: West Ryder Pauper Lunatic Asylum

    The Cribs: Ignore The Ignorant

    Manic Street Preachers: Journal For Plague Lovers

     

    Best Band Blog

    Muse (Muse.mu and Twitter.com/muse)

    Radiohead (Radiohead.com/deadairspace)

    Noel Gallagher (Oasisinet.com)

    Los Campesinos! (Loscampesinos.com)

    Paramore (Paramore.net)

     

    [via NME]