NME Announces Uninspiring Nominees for Annual Awards

The NME has announced the nominees for its annual Shockwaves NME Awards, which indicate that the magazine operated in an alternate universe in 2009—one where Kasabian, Kings of Leon and Mumford & Sons made important contributions to the music world. 

The winners of the awards will be announced at a special event at the Brixton Academy in London on Feb. 24, where Oasis might win Best British Band despite doing nothing other than splitting up, and Kasabian’s West Ryder Pauper Lunatic Asylum may actually be in with a shot of winning Best Album of 2009.

To prove that we haven’t stopped taking the meds and these nominations are actually real, here’s the full list:

Best British Band (sponsored by Shockwaves)

Arctic Monkeys

Biffy Clyro

Kasabian

Muse

Oasis

Best International Band (sponsored by 4music/T4)

Green Day

Kings Of Leon

Paramore

Vampire Weekend

Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Best Solo Artist

Dizzee Rascal

Florence And The Machine

Jamie T

Julian Casablancas

Lady Gaga

Best New Band (sponsored by USC)

The Big Pink

Bombay Bicycle Club

Mumford & Sons

The xx

La Roux

Best Live Band (sponsored by Tuborg)

Arctic Monkeys

Kasabian

Muse

Radiohead

Them Crooked Vultures

Best Album (sponsored by HMV)

Arctic Monkeys: Humbug

Kasabian: West Ryder Pauper Lunatic Asylum

Muse: The Resistance

The Cribs: Ignore The Ignorant

The Horrors: Primary Colours

Best Track (sponsored by NME Radio)

Animal Collective: 'My Girls'

Arctic Monkeys: 'Crying Lightning'

Florence And The Machine: 'Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up)'

Jamie T: 'Sticks N' Stones'

The Big Pink: 'Dominos'

Best Video (sponsored by NME TV)

Arctic Monkeys: 'Cornerstone '

Biffy Clyro: 'The Captain'

Kasabian: 'Fire'

The Maccabees: 'Can You Give It'

Oasis: 'Falling Down'

Best Live Event

Blur at Hyde Park

Jay-Z at Alexandra Palace

Muse at Teignmouth

Oasis at Heaton Park

The Dead Weather at Shoreditch Church

Best Festival

Download

Glastonbury

Reading And Leeds Festivals

T In The Park

V Festival

Best Dancefloor Filler

Dizzee Rascal And Armand Van Helden: 'Bonkers'

Florence And The Machine: 'You've Got The Love'

La Roux: 'In For The Kill' (Skream Remix)

Lady Gaga: 'Poker Face'

Yeah Yeah Yeahs: 'Zero'

Best TV Show

The Inbetweeners

Never Mind The Buzzcocks

Peep Show

Skins

True Blood

Best Film

(500) Days Of Summer

In The Loop

Inglourious Basterds

The Twilight Saga: New Moon

Where The Wild Things Are

Best DVD

Kings Of Leon: Live At The The O2 Arena

Flight Of The Conchords: Complete HBO Second Season

The Killers: Live From The Royal Albert Hall

The Mighty Boosh: Future Sailors

Nirvana: Live At Reading

Giving It Back Fan Award

Kasabian and Noel Fielding for free 'Vlad The Impaler' video

Danger Mouse for leaking 'Dark Night Of The Soul'

Lily Allen for her Twitter ticket treasure hunt

Arctic Monkeys for their Oxfam golden tickets

Vampire Weekend for giving away 'Horchata' from the album 'Contra'

Hero Of The Year

Beyoncé Knowles

Noel Gallagher

Rage Against The Machine

Matt Bellamy

Alex Turner

Villain Of The Year

Noel Gallagher

Liam Gallagher

Simon Cowell

Kanye West

Lady Gaga

Best Dressed

Lady Gaga

Liam Gallagher

Noel Fielding

Florence Welch

Karen O

Worst Dressed

Lady Gaga

Matt Bellamy

Katy Perry

Liam Gallagher

Elly Jackson, La Roux

Worst Album

Green Day: 21st Century Breakdown

Lady Gaga: The Fame

The Jonas Brothers: Lines Vines Trying Times

U2: No Line On The Horizon

Arctic Monkeys: Humbug

Worst Band

Green Day

Oasis

Jonas Brothers

Paramore

JLS

Hottest Man

Head to NME.COM now to rate possibles including Alex Turner, Liam Gallagher, Peter Doherty, Matt Bellamy, Brandon Flowers and Julian Casablancas

Hottest Woman

Head to NME.COM now to rate possibles including Lily Allen, Alison Mosshart, Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Florence Welch and Karen O

Best Website (excluding NME.COM)

Muse.mu

YouTube

Facebook

Twitter

Greenday.com

Best Album Artwork

Muse: The Resistance

Green Day: 21st Century Breakdown

Kasabian: West Ryder Pauper Lunatic Asylum

The Cribs: Ignore The Ignorant

Manic Street Preachers: Journal For Plague Lovers

Best Band Blog

Muse (Muse.mu and Twitter.com/muse)

Radiohead (Radiohead.com/deadairspace)

Noel Gallagher (Oasisinet.com)

Los Campesinos! (Loscampesinos.com)

Paramore (Paramore.net)

[via NME]