News
Miley Cyrus' Insidious Autobiography, <i>Miles to Go</i>, is Upon Us
Miley Cyrus has been spending most of her time talking, like, annoyingly about Radiohead on the radio, but apparently she's got bigger fish to fry--her previously reported autobiography, Miles to Go, was released this week. Cyrus is the only author listed on the cover, but judging by her overall inability to form a complete sentence and not use, like, the word "like" every three words, there's probably a ghost writer eating out of a big tub of ice cream in his sweatpants right now secure in the fact that while he/she stretched the concept of a "book" by helping Cyrus put her "words" on paper, he is able to afford Rocky Road for the first time in months.
There's been speculation about what could actually be in Miles to Go considering Cyrus is the wise age of 16,and for that Cyrus has an answer:
"There's a lot about being bullied and a lot about breakups, and that's something that is really hard to write about and stuff that's easy to relate to," she said. "And I wanted my fans to always be able to relate to me, so I think that was really important."
Which brings up another important question? When, in the last five years, has Cyrus even been near another kid who could/would bully her? She's been famous and working at Disney that long, so I can't imagine a bunch of 15-year-olds ,who smoke and have lip rings, make fun of her everyday for being wholesome in between takes of the new episode of Hannah Montana. And honestly, isn't encouraging your fans to buy the book lining them up to be made fun of? I can already see a 12-year-old boy bringing this to school and getting annihilated by his peers for wanting to read a book about Miley's experiences with bullying.
And also, ROFLcopter on the "hard to write about" bit. I'm sure it is "hard' in that you have to find time to sit down and tell the dude in sweats about how this kid was, like, totz mean to you when you were seven, and it inspired you to be, like totz famous.
Apparently the big nugget in the book is that she talks about her break-up with Nick Jonas, which I suppose would be interesting to 10-year-olds, but given that the Jonas fellas are wound tighter than snare drums, it's not like the break-up was rife with sexual infidelity involving Mickey Mouse or anything. They probably just didn't get to see each other at all.
Miles to Go is number 87 on Amazon's best sellers list, so, yeah. Let's get this thing to number one (or not). [Idolator]
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i just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
You understanding and reference to the story in the book, indicate to me that you have not read it. My suggestion is either read it with and open mind (not empty, although it may be impossible for you) then comment on it. Otherwise keep quite and do some other boring story like you usally do.
Stan
I'm not sure how to "keep quite." "Quite awesome"? Because I already am. Also, I have an empty mind, so I can't read this. Thanks for letting me know Stan.
I eagerly await the section in Andross' autobiography that deals with comment board bullying.
They deserve it.
All of them.
That chapter will mostly deal with how a few Tinted Windows fans jacked a comment thread and insisted on calling me an a-hole. Then I will follow that with a discussion on how to rile up Tokio Hotel fans (by calling the band girls relentlessly), and a footnote regarding correcting commenter's sentence structure and spelling. I would ask that Banger write a forward re: Lil Wayne fans.
Erase the hate.
If that is a book pitch, consider it sold.
Although, one follow up question: There are Tokio Hotel fans? Seriously?
And, for my part, I have no intention of reading this book, or even considering it, with an open mind. Because, well, the book isn't for me. It's not marketed to me, because I'm not a 10-14-year-old girl. So I feel pretty comfortable sitting in judgment of this junk.
The phenomena known as Tokio Hotel fans actually exist more as an Internet concept that something that actually happens in nature. I feel that Tokio Hotel has a lot of fans that troll message boards, but not a lot of fans that actually go to see them, buy their albums, or outwardly show their appreciation towards the band. I think it's like porn for them. Except it's really kinky because it involves four transgender German teens who are in a boy band. Really high concept porn when you think of it.
Her book is a very good read, quite inspiring. If you like Miley before you read the book, you will love her when you finish it.
me
LIAR!
I can't quite see there being much to learn from a teenage disney product who has lived off Achy Breaky money her whole life. You know, until her dad made money off her.
I suspect that Miley Cyrus is Billy Ray Cyrus' way of getting back at us for making fun of his mullet back in 1992.
I agree with Stan, you should probably read the book before you review it. Also you were right about the ghost writer, her name is Hilary Liftin.
Sean
While he's not shy about his feelings on what he assumes (and I would agree) is the dubious worth of this book, this isn't a review. So the prerequisite of having read the book is out the window.
Full disclosure: My pen name is Hilary Liftin.
Fiander--How are you enjoying your ice cream? Tastes bittersweet and shameful I bet.
Also, in other news, I just signed on to write the "autobiography" for a fetus. Topics include: Who is this that keeps talking to me? Where does this cord go?, Bullying, and It's so cramped in here.
Who wants some sex?
i guess if she dies tomorrow, this would be a tad interesting, and not really
It definitely doesn't taste like dignity, I'll tell you that.
Hi! my name is andross...unfortunately i was picked on a lot in high school so im taking out my pain on tweeny popstar.
Hi andross! my name is mfiander! i find it best to hit the 'refresh' button over and over until i see that someone has responded to my clever post so i can post again!
FITE!!
Hi! My name is Cri_Man_Squa and I struggle with my love of Miley Cyrus on a day-to-day basis! I love Hannah Montana, that show is so super cool! I find the only way to cope with my love of Miley is to lash out at bloggers who make fun of my Miley by asserting they were made fun of in high school because to me, that seems like the only logical conclusion--there can't possibly be people who find the idea of Miley Cyrus writing a book to be a farce, a joke, or at worst, an affront to the concept of "literature" unless they were picked on in high school, even though I'm in middle school, and am sure I will never be made fun of because I am so super cool! To complement my lashing out at bloggers that make me question my own love of Miley, I lash out at commenters on said blog post, because, as I mentioned before, there's no possible way anyone, ever could think of Miley Cyrus as anything other than worthless! I think that pointing out that someone else wrote something droll in a comment, and saying that they were being facetiously clever I am somehow morally superior, when in fact, it makes me look a douche of the highest order! It proves I have no sense of humor, and am unable to understand the concept of irony and disdain. I also seem to have a sub-par understanding on when to properly ! use ! an !.
Well, I wasn't sitting around hitting 'refresh' at 1:30 AM on a Saturday.
Andross - 20
Cry Man - 1
A+ on that essay :)
Fiander...that was yet another clever post! You can post again now.
Thanks for keeping score B/\NGER.
Nice to see you on this side of the 'refresh' Cri Man. I hope you are not inexplicably surprised to see someone responding to your comment. That is, after all, how this thing works.
So...
Do you like this book? Or Miley? Or her show? Or something to do with this? Because you seem concerned about our conversation, but I don't know why. And I am curious. Not being clever at all. Asking a question. That's how this works. We ask questions of each other, we voice opinions, we poke fun, we dish it out and we take it. Welcome to the party. Try the punch. Andross made it. And B/\NGER was kind enough to bring some remarkably fresh crudite.
Okay, I was being clever at the end there. Trying to be, anyway.
I make the best punch ever. It tastes like win.
Hey yall!!
Dunno wat this is about but i saw there was some comments so i just wanna say........................
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!
Oh and by the way andross makes alot of comments that people don't care about!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mileyroxs
Wow, you really got me there. Pretending to be Miley is HILARIOUS Cri_Man_Squa.
That's not me. That's not my style. Anyways I apologize for offending you and Mfiander.
miley rox! i am sooooooooooooooooooooo gettin this book!
chickenmiley
i love miley cyrus where can i get her book 'miles to go' what book store in austraila?i hope i enjoy it wait of course i will she is my role model
love you miley
keep up the great work
xoxoxo
renee
Screw you.
MILEY CYRUS ROX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Natasha
hii miley cyrus is my idol absoloutly luv her
where can i geh her book in birmingham
i love her i love her style her voice evrything
love you miley
cant wait t see you in concert whenever you come to birmingham x
ashleiigh x
Im reading her book right now... so i have much to say. If you read her book it is actually very inspirational. She uses quotes and Bible Verses in it... and i love it. The way she puts it in her words.... speaks a lot. Some people think of her as a snotty slutty rich girl... but really when you read her book.... you can really connect with her. I mean she may be famous but she is still human. She has feelings. And People When they read her book you can read her and know who she is. and What all this means to her. :)
Megan