Reader participation time: we'll let you make up their own minds about the current activities of Michael "there's nothing even remotely unusual about me" Jackson (how do you like the new nickname, by the way?). The King of Pop was recently photographed on an outing in Las Vegas, where he and his children visited a book store. A man presumed to be part of Michael's staff was pushing him around in a wheelchair, and Michael was attired in pajama bottoms, slippers, ballcap, surgical mask, burqa-like head scarf, and sunglasses. Since there's no easier way to engender cries of "Hey, there's Michael Jackson" than sporting the aforementioned combo, we're ruling out remaining incognito as an explanation.

Of course, the possibilities are endless. Maybe he's starting a theatrical, Sufjan Stevens-esque band and they're all going to look like this.  Maybe he's recovering from a beard experiment gone horribly awry. Maybe he's researching a film role as a narcoleptic, desert-based private eye. We don't pretend to have the answers...you make the call.