Masterpiece Theater Presents: Girl Making Out With A Tree At Ultra Festival

    Not to get all personal or whatever, but last night I spent an hour with about 600 18-year-olds who were freaking the hell out at “DROP THE BASS” dance music that Lunice was playing at a party sponsored by AXE body spray. It wasn’t my thing, but it also made me realize that I am suddenly too old to understand what teenagers are into, and that I can no longer hope to relate to anyone who is dressed in technicolor and dancing along to dance music that gives me a headache. 

    Which brings me to this video of a teenage-looking girl making out with a tree at Ultra Festival. Why is she doing this? Is she on drugs? Is this what girls wear to music festivals now? Is this normal for kids now? Is this the new Salvia? Did her friends post this? Does she even have any friends? When did I become my dad? Why would you slap someone you’re making out with? Why pull down your pants for a tree? Is this even real? What is real? You wanna finally see it? [via Daily Swarm]