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Lily Allen Gets Engaged, Male Population Mourns

British pop singer Lily Allen, who has a nice voice and is also pretty cute, announced her engagement to boyfriend Sam Cooper today. Cooper reportedly proposed this past Christmas Day at Indonesian luxury resort Amankil on the island of Bali. Never heard of it? It is because you are not rich or attractive enough to go there.


The engagement comes mere weeks after Allen suffered a miscarriage. The surprise proposal left the happy couple unable to keep the "smiles off of their faces." According to onlookers, "It couldn't have been more romantic."


The world's male population, already severely emotionally wounded over Natalie Portman recently announcing her pregnancy and engagement to ballet dancer and Black Swan choreographer Benjamin Millepied, is now extending their holiday mourning period "indefinitely" and will continue eating Christmas leftovers and sobbing alone in their bedrooms.


[aux TV]



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Lily Allen

maybe 2% of the male population. gross


Compared to the Natalie Portman news, this is a minor loss.

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