Lily Allen – whose misguided plot to avoid unwanted tabloid attention has so far included getting wasted at an awards show and slurring insults at Elton John, drunkenly punching a Frenchwoman on the street in front of a crowd of paparazzi, and showing off her third nipple on Dutch TV – is trying a new approach: becoming a nun. In an interview with SPIN magazine, Allen explains that she has seen the light, saying, “At Catholic school, I never got it at all, but, being a nun now makes total sense.”
Lest you become concerned that this will lead to a boring, squeaky clean, Jesus-freak version of the girl who once said, “I don’t like Christianity much,” have no fear.
"I wouldn’t do it for Jesus,” says Allen, as we all breath a collective sigh of relief. “I would do it to see tabloid gossip people have zero to write about: “She prays all fucking day; what are we going to do now?”” [Contactmusic]