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Keith Richards, apparently drunk, demands apology for being called drunk

Keith RichardsKeith Richards, the affably incoherent Rolling Stones guitarist, released a statement Wednesday demanding that two Swedish newspapers, Expressen and Aftonbladet, apologize for their negative reviews of his band's recent appearance in Gothenburg. The reviews balked at the wizened guitarist's allegedly "very drunk" appearance at the August 3 concert; Richards also fell over at a recent Helsinki show. Need we mention that last year the Stones' tour was put on hold after the guitarist, no joke, fell out of a palm tree while on vacation and possibly toasted from snorting a rather potent mixture of cocaine and his own father's charred remains?
I guess those snobby reviewers just didn't see the same show Richards saw (if you haven't gotten the joke yet, that would probably have required the consumption of a few Class A intoxicants). Sayeth Richards: "You have a duty to wield the power of the press with honesty and integrity. There were 56,000 people in Ullevi stadium who bought a ticket to our concert -- and experienced a completely different show than the one you 'reviewed'." After issuing the statement at a media gathering, Richards clumsily stumbled off the press stage where he was standing, falling crotch-first onto a haphazardly balanced board, on the opposing end of which sat a precariously placed wedding cake that instantly launched into the air and landed bottoms-up on the dazed guitarist's head.
Stones demand apology from Swedish papers [Reuters]
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[...] higher than Keith Richards after an all-night binge at the crematorium (sorry, I’ve got Richards on the brain), but you gotta marvel at his sheer idiocy. Explaining the incident on FOX’s O’Reilly [...]

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