It's difficult to read the following headline with a straight face: "Justin Bieber's Life to Become an ABC Sitcom." Not because of the imagined hilarity such a premise promises; rather, the very idea seems so farcical and ill-fated that it's practically postmodern (and might actually do well as an absurdist, satirical sketch for Canadian television, motherland of one Justin Drew Bieber).
But this is America, land of mass production, pop songs, Disney, and some combination of the three. TV Guide reports that the idea for the "Justin Bieber show" (not the actual title) was originally launched last year but never made it out of development. Now, it seems, ABC is ready coax their cash cow back from pasture and is considering the series for the 2013-14 season.
The yet-to-be-named series would be executive produced by Bieber, his manager, Scooter Braun, and real-life television producers Matt Wolpert and Ben Nedivi (Entourage), who are also, purportedly, writing the script. The plot is loosely based on the pop singer's early, pre-fame life, when he was "awkward" and being raised in an "unorthodox" family. (Nobody's tapped that storyline before. Genius.)
So no episode surrounding the historical decision to cut his hair or the ensuing speculation that in doing so he had somehow transformed himself into Mary Stuart Masterson in Some Kind of Wonderful? That's a shame.