Let’s say you’re John McCain. Okay, an admittedly chilling thought, but go with it for a second. Your opponent’s got 99.9 percent of the cool music celebs sewn up endorsement-wise. In desperation, you tried to slip a Jackson Browne song into an Obama-bashing TV commercial, and wound up getting both sued and dissed by an irate Browne. The only musical friends you could find were in Big & Rich, and even then, only one of them would go to bat for you. At the end of your rope, in a political panic, you decided to sign a dead guy on as endorser. "What could go wrong?" you probably asked yourself.
Sorry, Charlie Brown. Turns out Rosanne Cash, daughter of said dead guy, Johnny Cash, took exception to McCain’s recent statement that "Johnny Cash would have been a John McCain supporter if he was still around." Johnny’s dutiful offspring issued a statement to CMT denying McCain’s claim and excoriating those who wrongly attach their causes to her father’s name. Reports that Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, and Darby Crash are considering lending McCain their support remain unconfirmed.
For those with a moment to peruse, info on Cash’s true political stance can be found below:
"The Man In Black" by Johnny Cash
Well, you wonder why I always dress in black,
Why you never see bright colors on my back,
And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone.
Well, there’s a reason for the things that I have on.
I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down,
Livin’ in the hopeless, hungry side of town,
I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime,
But is there because he’s a victim of the times.
I wear the black for those who never read,
Or listened to the words that Jesus said,
About the road to happiness through love and charity,
Why, you’d think He’s talking straight to you and me.
Well, we’re doin’ mighty fine, I do suppose,
In our streak of lightnin’ cars and fancy clothes,
But just so we’re reminded of the ones who are held back,
Up front there oughtta be a Man In Black.
I wear it for the sick and lonely old,
For the reckless ones whose bad trip left them cold,
I wear the black in mournin’ for the lives that could have been,
Each week we lose a hundred fine young men.
And, I wear it for the thousands who have died,
Believen’ that the Lord was on their side,
I wear it for another hundred thousand who have died,
Believen’ that we all were on their side.
Well, there’s things that never will be right I know,
And things need changin’ everywhere you go,
But ’til we start to make a move to make a few things right,
You’ll never see me wear a suit of white.
Ah, I’d love to wear a rainbow every day,
And tell the world that everything’s OK,
But I’ll try to carry off a little darkness on my back,
‘Till things are brighter, I’m the Man In Black.