Yahoo! News is reporting that Joaquin Phoenix, he of such instant classics as We Own the Night, The Village, and Walk the Line, is in the studio with Charlatans frontman Tim Burgess recording an album. Somewhere, Don Johnson is crying a tear of remembrance. If Phoenix lends the same morbidity and lack of charisma in his role as Johnny Cash to his music career, look for this album to be full of heavy downers. One thing’s for sure, it can’t be worse than Philip Michael Thomas’ 1985 opus Living the Book of My Life or Steven Seagal’s pair of masterpieces Songs from the Crystal Cave and Mojo Priest.
Scarlett Johansson? Sure. Bruce Willis? That's a given. Eddie Murphey? Why not. But may God reach down from the heavens and pimp slap the bullsh*t from the corners of your mouth for including Zooey Deschangel in with that group.