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It's Official: Jim Morrison's Dong Pardoned

It's Official: Jim Morrison's Dong Pardoned

Outgoing Florida Gov. Charlie Crist made the most important move of his political career yesterday, a far as we're concerned, when he offered an official pardon to Doors singer Jim Morrison, 41 years after he was charged with indecent exposure at a Miami concert.

The issue was whether Morrison, dead since 1971, actually pulled out his dong at a show at the Dinner Key Auditorium on March 1, 1969. Morrison, allegedly out of his mind drunk, "put his hand in his pants and fiddled with his belt," but did not take out his soft parade, according to numerous accounts.

Gov. Crist and the Florida Board of Executive Clemency agreed, and unanimously voted to posthumously pardon the star on Thursday.

Morrison's widow, Patricia Kennealy Morrison, opposes the pardon according to CNN. She thinks Morrison "would hate, loathe, detest and despise the whole idea. He would think it is yet another pathetic attempt by the State of Florida to use him for its own cheap and cynical publicity-hungry purposes, and I have no doubt but that he would rip the 'pardon' into tiny pieces," she said, adding "[h]e didn't do anything wrong, but he wouldn't want to be cleared."

"A pardon corrects the fact that Mr. Morrison is now unable to take advantage of the presumption of innocence that is the cornerstone of the American criminal justice system," said Gov. Crist after the vote.

See? The system works!

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OH THANK GOD I WAS SO WORRIED.

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^ LAWL

Ben

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