(via Geeks of Doom)
Those horrible baby boom douchebags behind the Hard Rock Cafe chain have really outdone themselves this time, launching Hard Rock Park, a "rock n' roll" style theme park in Myrtle Beach, SC.ÂÂ The park will be seperated into Disney style lands like "British Invasion" and "Lost in the Seventies," and feature displays of the brand's trademark memorabilia. Although we have no direct evidence, a quick look at the rides suggest that this monstrosity was built on the cheap from the bones of another amusement facility.ÂÂ Take "Midnight Rider, a Southern Rock roller coaster that careens through a creepy abandoned lumber mill." Huh? Try the eminently logical, "Reggae River Falls, a whimsical Jamaican-themed water play area" or "Garage Jam! a foam ball play-station."ÂÂ This was clearly a Fun Land or something a month ago.
To promote the opening, these dicks are driving around in the actual Magical Mystery Tour bus and dragging around a wall from CBGB's from Hard Rock Cafe to Hard Rock Cafe until they get to Myrtle Beach. There, to honor these legendary artifacts (and creepy abandoned lumber mills alike) there will be a performance by the Marshall Tucker Band and Sister Hazel.
I know a twinge of recognition just hit you.ÂÂ Why do you know the name Sister Hazel? I googled it and after reading that their biggest hit was called "All For You,"ÂÂI was still stumped although I knew they were huge for a second in the late nineties dying "Buzz Bin" wilderness.ÂÂ So then I went to iTunes and listened to a sample, remembered and got angry. Very, very angry...