Ladies and gentlemen, we hereby present the winner of the "Guided By Voices news item that sounds the most like the topic of an actual GBV song" award for 2008. (In deep, movie-trailer announcer voice) Imagine a world...where Catherine Zeta-Jones is Cleopatra. Hugh Jackman is Marc Antony (no, not Marc Anthony). Everything's in 3-D. And best of all...wait for it...it's a musical. Who better to score this unlikely scenario than the O.G.'s of absurdist rock, Guided By Voices? Steven Soderbergh's overseeing the whole thing, but tellingly, the screenplay is by author/onetime GBV bassist Jim Greer, which may be a hint as to how the boys from Dayton got a foothold in a big-time Tinseltown project. It's all still in the planning stages, so this perfect cinematic storm of anomaly likely won't see the light of day for a while, but we'll surely be keeping our fingers crossed and our speed-dial set for MovieFone.