George Michael Jailed For Driving While Stoned

    Singer George Michael, best known for British group WHAM!, tight jeans and trying to have sex with an undercover cop in a bathroom, was sentenced to eight weeks of jail time for wreckless driving under the influence of cannibus. The singer was arrested on July 4 for smashing his Range Rover into London photography store Snappy Snaps while reportedly high as all fuck. Yes, someone snappy snapped a photo of the wreck.


    At press time, the nearest confirmed stoner in proximity commented, “Dude, that’s weird, because weed makes me a better driver. I’m super paranoid of the cops and shit while I’m blazed, so I obey the rules. Hahaha.”


    Michael, 47, will serve the first half of his sentence in prison, while the remaining four weeks will be served under probation.