News

Enough Already With the Lists of Crazy Things Rappers Say

11:49 a.m. · August 28, 2009 · by Andrew Winistorfer

Cracked has a list up at its site today counting down 15 of the most baffling boasts ever made in hip-hop. And while Cracked gets points for adding Macho Man Randy Savage to the mix (his boasts against Hulk Hogan are as irrational as his affinity for beef flavored snacks) and having a math-related head-scratcher as number one (Redman says, "My paragraph alone is worth five mics, a twelve song LP, that's thirty-six mics" on a song which doesn't make sense number-wise (figuring the math out means his songs consist of .6 paragraphs)), these lists are kind of redundant. Of course rappers say goofy shit. Isn't that expected? And having Lil Wayne (who admits to recording while high on cough syrup) and ODB (who was, I think we can all agree, plain nuts) is too easy. 

Rap, by definition, is measured in words, not as much the music. But there have been plenty of crazy-ass lyrics in rock music. Take the last White Stripes album, Icky Thump. What the hell does that even mean? Or half of Led Zeppelin's songbook? There are metaphors for boning chicks in there that don't make any sense what so ever. Plus they sang about Lord of the Rings, which is as about as nuts as Vanilla Ice droppin a non-sequiter about having sex with his sister. Well, not really, but do you get my point? [Cracked]