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Amazing Quotes From Ozzy Osbourne's Autobiography Released

11:30 a.m. · January 14, 2010 · by Andrew Winistorfer

The L.A. Times music blog has gotten their hands on an early xopy of Ozzy Osbourne's autobiography, I Am Ozzy, and completely in line with expectations, the thing has some Spinal Tap-esque quotes. Here's the intro, followed by a few other choice lines:

Other people's memories of the stuff in this book might not be the same as mine. I ain't gonna argue with 'em. Over the past forty years I've been loaded on booze, coke, acid, Quaaludes, glue, cough mixture, heroin, Rohypnol, Klonopin, Vicodin, and too many other heavy-duty substances to list in this footnote. On more than a few occasions I was on all of these at the same time. I'm not the fucking Encyclopedia Britannica, put it that way. What you read here is what dribbled out of the jelly I call my brain when I asked it for my life story. Nothing more, nothing less...

 

On getting released from prison:

I was a free man, and I'd survived prison without being arse raped or beaten to a pulp.

So how come I felt so fucking sad?

 

On another potential career path:

Now, they're lethal fucking things, electric welders.

I can relate to the prison one; I've often ended my near butt-rape scenarios with wondering how I could be so fucking sad. Not really! This seems incredible. It's out now. [LA Times]