The L.A. Times music blog has gotten their hands on an early xopy of Ozzy Osbourne's autobiography, I Am Ozzy, and completely in line with expectations, the thing has some Spinal Tap-esque quotes. Here's the intro, followed by a few other choice lines:
Other people's memories of the stuff in this book might not be the same as mine. I ain't gonna argue with 'em. Over the past forty years I've been loaded on booze, coke, acid, Quaaludes, glue, cough mixture, heroin, Rohypnol, Klonopin, Vicodin, and too many other heavy-duty substances to list in this footnote. On more than a few occasions I was on all of these at the same time. I'm not the fucking Encyclopedia Britannica, put it that way. What you read here is what dribbled out of the jelly I call my brain when I asked it for my life story. Nothing more, nothing less...
On getting released from prison:
I was a free man, and I'd survived prison without being arse raped or beaten to a pulp.
So how come I felt so fucking sad?
On another potential career path:
Now, they're lethal fucking things, electric welders.
I can relate to the prison one; I've often ended my near butt-rape scenarios with wondering how I could be so fucking sad. Not really! This seems incredible. It's out now. [LA Times]