Will.i.am is resuscitating his solo career now that Black Eyed Peas are on hiatus, and he just put out a video for his stupidly David Guetta-esque “T.H.E. (The Hardest Ever).” There are too many things to mention here to keep this coherent, so here it is in list form:
1. “I’m gonna go hard like a motherfucking boner.”
2. Hearing Mick Jagger say “I’m about to go in,” is like hearing your grandpa say, “Fo shizzle.”
3. Will.i.am is the worst.
4. The director’s pitch: “OK, so Will is in a plane, and then there’s space. Also J.Lo. It will be awesome, and make you think you’re seeing a really expensive cola commercial.”
5. It turns out Will.i.am’s whole career led to that screen shot of an HTC phone at the beginning.
6. This has done more to sully the legacy of Liquid Swords than any Killah Beez project.
7. Will.i.am is the worst.
8. Hummers are perfect for avoiding Mario Kart boxes.
9. “I go hard, statues.”
10. Will.i.am is the worst.
11. R.I.P Mick Jagger.
12. “This is crazy. Psychology.”
13. I quit. Life.