A few weeks ago, I found myself downtown drinking a few beers, and making a futile attempt for some female attention at a local bar/dance club. Things were going okay, especially since they played “Put a Ring On It,” and that song is hilarious to dance to when you’ve had anywhere between 2-4350 drinks. But then, this band jumped onstage, and it was made up of a DJ and a fat guy with a cowboy hat and an acoustic guitar. They proceeded to play a “country” cover of Cee-Lo Green’s “Fuck You,” which made me feel like I was entering the deepest, dankest part of hell. I started booing wildly, and was ushered out of the bar by my more sober friends. On our walk of shame back to the car, I stopped every passer by to tell them to avoid the bar, to stay the fuck out of there, because they had a country band playing vaguely hip-hop covers (they did a Snoop Dogg song later, I am told). I apparently almost got punched by someone I stopped, though I can’t verify that.
So why do I bring this up? Because instead of warning you to stay away from a hokey country singer doing “hip-hop” covers, here I am giving you a video of Taylor Swift covering Eminem’s “Lose Yourself.” Remember when Eminem used to be the musician your parents feared and the RIAA loathed? Not anymore folks: A country singer who sings mostly about boys being mean to her is now able to cover Eminem devoid of irony (but not without painful smiles). And her crowd will eat that shit up, and go completely apeshit, and be able to “rap” along like they’re trying to recreate U-God’s verse from “Triumph.” Nas was right: Hip-hop is dead. Sorry guys.