Dear record label promotions departments:
Hello. How are you? I'm fine. I'm writing because enough with the "3D" videos already. Seriously, just because movies have decided that blue aliens boning each other with USB cord dongs hidden in ponytails needs to be seen in more than two shitty dimensions, doesn't mean your videos for cornball singles like Kelis' "Scream" need to be in 3D too. It's not like anyone, anywhere is ever going to actually watch this on 3D, or on a screen bigger than a YouTube video. I bet this never even gets on TV. So what's the point of the 3D, but to remind people that this video is currently worse than it should be. It's cool that you're still willing to burn money on this stuff, but that'll do. Use that money to sign better bands, or something. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely yours,
Andrew Winistorfer. XOXOXOXO
"Use that money to sign better bands, or something." This seems like good advice.