I've been in Canada for the last few days, so excuse me if I'm out of the loop a bit. Apparently the American Music Awards were last night, and we gave a bunch of them to Justin Bieber, who isn't even American? Makes sense, I guess. It feels good to be back, though. I can finally use maple syrup as a waffle topping instead of as currency. It's great, and my jean pockets are less sticky. (Also, what's the deal with the two-dollar coin, Canada? That shit is real weird. But seriously, wonderful country you guys have.)
So, Diddy brought his Dirty Money onto the AMAs, and he performed "Coming Home" with a new MC Hammer haircut, jocking "Flashing Lights" so hardcore. As always, Diddy makes references to Notorious BIG, and he can't really rap all that well. But this is probably going to be huge. At least he's actually American. We're not rewarding his dominance over our culture event though he wasn't born here. We're rewarding his dominance for the fact he once was friends with a famous rapper. America: same as it ever was.
