Coldplay were the musical guests on American Idol last night, bringing Mylo Xyloto tracks to the stage where dreams are crushed. They performed "Paradise" and "Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall," complete with black light paint, confetti and awkward dancing by Chris Martin. I'd make a 40 Year Old Virgin joke here, but whatevz. These Coldplay songs are honestly not as bad as other Coldplay songs. The best part? The contestants looking like they're gonna cry right after Coldplay performs. That's usually how Coldplay makes me feel: Like I'm about to be voted off a singing contest on national television.