“Birthday Sex” (Remix) (ft. Fabolous, Jeremih) (Stream)

    It has become clear to me that “Birthday Sex” is more than just a catchy, gimmicky track whose charm relies heavily on the autouned “I-I-I.” “Birthday Sex” is a revolution. “Birthday Sex” is the herald of a new era. In ten years, like the assassination of President Kennedy, or 9/11, people will ask you, “Where were you the first time you heard Birthday Sex?” Children will read about “Birthday Sex” in textbooks. Alternative artists with stencil Jeremih’s face on the side of buildings. Those who missed out on “Birthday Sex” will be considered fuddy-duddies, ignorant of the plain, boldfaced cultural signifigance of a song about annual coitus, to celebrate the creation of life. Oh God, what a brave new world that awaits us. Make sure you’re packing condoms.