These things were the best.

 For it's 20th anniversary (I can't believe Super Soakers are 20 years old!), Hasbro is bringing back the classic Soaker, complete with poignant 1989 neon, back to market. Will kids today respect the best?

....

http://i.gizmodo.com/5153949/the-original-classic-neon-super-soaker-50-its-back

One time when I was in 17 I was driving around with my friends drinking, right. We are stopped at a red light when all the sudden this car of 5 guys pulls up beside us and squirts us with a soaker. My friends, already drunk became enraged  by this and decided to chase them. They had just picked me up 15 mins before this so I was sober   and  made a failed attempt to become the voice of reason.  It didn't matter what I said to them; they wanted to destroy those guys. 

Anywhoo, this little chevette turns a into  back road thinking they could lose us that way. During the chase my one friend is holding my other friend's legs as he hanged outside the window throwing full cans of beer at their car.  Ten mins later their car tried to drive across a small stream...which they got stuck.  My buddy stops the car, runs full speed towards them and punches the driver side window 3-4 times SCREAMING at them to get out. Within 20 seconds my other  friend snapped off their  antenna while the other one jumped on thier hood like  a god damn trampoline.  There were 5 of them and 4 of us, by the way and the kids in the car were scared shitless. The driver was crying out to my friends begging them to stop...which they did eventually.  During all this time i'm just chiling by our car having a beer (i had just bought new jeans that day and didn't want to fuck them up, plus it was fucking retarded to do all that damage over a super soaker).

Afterwards, my friends pushed their car out of the stream and they drove off.

We never saw them again.

Oh, high school memories...

Speaking of walmart, tell your mom I said hello.

She really did a good job  assisting me that day while I was looking for an outfit.

 I even put in a good word to the manager which I believe they awarded her the employee of the  month. I'll never forget when she told me the day you ate your own poop.

I was like "OMG, YOUR SON EATS HIS OWN POOP?? LOLOLOLOL"

And she said "YEAH, HE'S A REAL DUMMY!! LOLOLOLOLOLOL"

We laughed and laughed.

Ahhh, good times.