man what a dumbass

Man Humps Bench, Gets Stuck

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By the time doctors got to work on Xing's predicament (pun intended), it was so swollen that they had to cut the entire bench free and load it into the ambulance with Xing attached. At the hospital, it took four hours to separate Xing from his special bench, and doctors stated that in another hour they would have had to remove his penis.
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http://www.asylum.com/2008/08/11/man-humps-bench-gets-stuck/

I don't know what's worse, this or when I heard on the radio, a few years back, that some guy stuck his penis in a vacuum hose and flipped the power on