Unreal.

 

There's a lot to like about the modern film industry - the Coen Brothers winning Oscars, halfway-decent Batman movies, mercifully few Dane Cook "comedies" - however, there are certain age-old traditions that Hollywood has abandoned lately, and we're here to say enough is enough. Specifically, we're here to petition for the return of the overly-expository end-credit rap song. You know what we're talking about - those insanely catchy rap anthems that run during the end credits of movies, blithely recounting everything you've just watched to a drum-machine beat. What has happened to this tried-and-true Tinseltown tradition? Why was there no rap song during Iron Man's end credits, awkwardly trying to rhyme "Tony Stark" with something like "Maker's Mark" or "Noah's Ark"? Why didn't we get to hear M. Night Shyamalan freestyle on "Greenhouse Thug Style (The Happening Rap)"? This is not the Hollywood of the future we envisioned back in 1988 and, to be frank, we don't like it.

 

So, as an ode to the golden days of plot-summarizing hip-hop, we've assembled this list of ten of our favorite hilariously awesome end-credit rap songs. One note: Any movie rap anthem that was dubbed either a). not creative enough (i.e. dull) or b). too accomplished (i.e. too good - Eminem's "Lose Yourself" falls into this category) probably didn't make this list. Also, while the some of these songs did not play in their entireties during the end credits, they remain within the end-credit genre due to their tone and scope.

 

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10. Maniac Cop 2 (1990) - "Maniac Cop Rap"

 

Why We Love It: We should hate any B-movie slasher film with the gall to replace genre legend (and star of the original Maniac Cop) Bruce Campbell with pock-marked place-filler Robert Davi, but you HAVE to love Maniac Cop 2 for having one of the funniest end-credit rap epics of all time. We're sure the "Maniac Cop Rap" was a chart-topping hit in some alternate universe, but, in our world, this underheard gem only has a growing online cult following (check out the fan-made music video below) thanks largely to classic lines like "Set him on fire, I shoot him with an Uzi / but he'll show up in your Jacuzzi."

 

http://www.movieretriever.com/blog/editors/120/Ten-Hilariously-Awesome-End-Credit-Rap-Songs