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Unicorns: We spent an hour with these dudes and didn't find out dick (Part 2)

Interview: Part Two Of Two

Here is the second part of the interview with the Unicorns...

Prefix Magazine:
We should probably talk about the music. How do you guys write your songs? At first listen people may dismiss your songs as simple, but ...

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
Nick Diamonds (keys, vocals): Two chords!

 


Jamie Thompson (drums): I'll explain the process. We all get together and we design and write a computer program that identifies what the best notes are at that given time. And then we feed that into another computer program that we write that arranges the song. And then we burn about fifty CDs and we send them to people all over the world. Each CD has about twenty-five songs on it. And then we ask everyone to pick their favorite song. The one that gets the most votes we use.

 

PM:
So computers are creating your music.

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
JT: Yeah, we're trying to find out a way for computers to do live shows, but it hasn't happened yet.

 

PM:
Maybe you guys should look into the Milli Vanilli thing.

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
JT: Yeah, that'd be hot.

 

ND: That didn't work. They just overdosed.

 

JT: Yeah, one of those guys is dead.

 

PM:
But one of them is still around and making money off royalties.

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
JT: I saw one of them on VH-1 "Behind the Music" and they showed a clip from "The Arsenio Hall Show" and Arsenio was like, "Man you guys can really sing. You guys are really good."

 

Friend of the band: What's Arsenio doing now?

 

ND: He's lip-synching.

 

PM:
What about the parents? Are they psyched?

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
JT: Yeah. We've stayed at all of our parents houses while on tour. All of our parents have been unbelievable.

 

PM:
Did they think you guys would be failures in life?

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
ND: Yes. Well, they thought we were headed in the wrong direction until they saw us in Maclean's.

 

PM:
What's that?

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
ND: It's Canada's national weekly magazine.

 

JT: Canada's Time Magazine.

 

DS (manager): They're the biggest band in Canada right now.

 

ND: We're talking to Virgin Records. You know, trying to secure a deal.

 

JT: My dad, I think he's really glad because he had to stop playing drums when the kids were born and get a real job. So, I think he's really happy. For the longest time I thought he wanted me to get a real job or something, then only recently I realized he wants me to really rock out. So that feels good.

 

PM:
So you guys have cool parents.

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
Alden Ginger (keys, vocals): Yeah, we're lucky.

 

PM:
Now this is the all-important question.

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
Friend of the band: You said the last question was the all-important question.

 

PM:
No, this is the all-important question. Are you guys down with the Myspace or Friendster stuff?

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
ND: We tried Friendster, but it didn't work.

 

PM:
What do you mean it didn't work?

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
ND: I tried registering, but it didn't work.

 

JT: You know what's cool that we just found out about? E-mail. You tried that shit?

 

ND: Hotmail. Fuck Friendster.

 

JT: Yeah, Hotmail.

 

ND: Friendster is done man. MSN is the new shit.

 

JT: Like MSN messenger man. That shit's hot. I don't know where it came from.

 

AG: It's already over anyway.

 

ND: The Internet is done. The new thing is TV.

 

JT: TV. You don't even have to do anything with it. It does everything for you.

 

PM:
So I'm supposed to ask about the label?

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
JT: What do you want to know about the label?

 

PM:
Do you like 'em? Are you gonna ditch out on them?

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
ND: That's what tonight's about.

 

PM:
The majors are probably scouting you guys and sending over money, drugs and stuff ...

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
ND: Crotchless panties. OK, I'll wear them, but just for four albums.

 

PM:
How did you guys hook up with Alien8 Records?

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
ND: Well, curling is really big in Canada and we were all in a curling league.

 

JT: And something happened.

 

PM:
Curling, I don't get that shit at all ...

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
JT: But you guys here in the States are all into cricket.

 

ND: And lacrosse.

 

JT: Cricket? What's that about? I watched that for ten minutes man. I have no idea.

 

PM:
No one in America cares about cricket. What about basketball and baseball?

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
JT: Basketball? Baseball? It's the stupidest sport. So, anyway, curling. We met in the same curling league and we were drinking drinks at a curling party one night. We slipped a CD to Gary and Sean of Alien8 and they liked it and we told them to get lost and ... Please, please, please.

 

AG: They had some incriminating photos of Nick and the rest is history.

 

PM:
I don't think I asked enough questions about the Canada thing.

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
JT: OK. Hit it.

 

PM:
Why do Americans dislike Canada so much?

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
AG: Hey.

 

Friend of the band: I thought it was the other way around.

 

JT: What? What are you talking about? I thought you guys loved us?

 

PM:
OK. Let's switch that question then. Why do Canadians hate America?

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
JT: Thanks a lot. Thanks a lot, buddy.

 

PM:
It's the truth man. I didn't say it. I'm Korean. Koreans love Canadians.

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
JT: And we love you guys back. We love every nation except America.

 

ND: We're here to just take your money.

 

Friend of the band: Is that what you said when you crossed the border? How did the border crossing go?

 

AG: It was fine. I was hiding. I was in the trunk.

 

Friend No. 2: Answer that question man.

 

ND: What was the question?

 

JT: The question is, Why do Americans hate Canadians and why do Canadians hate Americans?

 

PM:
Is there a reason?

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
ND: No. Let's move on.

 

PM:
Have you guys heard of people dressing up as unicorns?

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
ND: Max Grody American Roadie.

 

PM:
If you had to pick a pop star to date, who would she be? Britney, J-Lo, Jessica Simpson, Avril ...

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
ND: Beyonce.

 

JT: I'd take Beyonce among those choices, although Jay-Z is probably going to kill us now. I hear Jay-Z is very protective.

 

PM:
You guys actually roll with a pretty big crew. Bigger than most of the rappers we've interviewed.

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
JT: I only know like half these people. I think our posse is like ten people right now.

 

PM:
Did I miss any questions?

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
Friend of the band: Why haven't you guys moved to New York yet, like all the other rock bands?

 

JT: First we have to make some money.

 

PM:
But Canada is the hot scene now. We recently interviewed Broken Social Scene. What do you guys think about them?

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
AG: I like them.

 

ND: I don't like them. They're overrated. Dinosaur Jr. anybody?

 

PM:
The kids think they're ancient now.

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
ND: So what!

 

PM:
Alright, Canadian rundown ... New Pornographers.

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
JT: I look like the bass player --

 

ND: And Dan Bejar. John Collins the bass player. And Neko Case. They're great.

 

PM:
So thumbs up.

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
ND: Buck 65. The new album stinks but he's still good. You guys heard of him?

 

PM:
A white guy, right?

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
ND: Yeah.

 

PM:
What about K-Os?

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
ND: Sounds a bit like Wyclef.

 

JT: K-Os is a lot better than Wyclef though.

 

Derek (Meier of Solid PR, the band's publicist): Wyclef likes God too much man.

 

ND: Got any more Canadians for us?

 

PM:
I had one, but I can't think of it now.

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
AG: Arcade Fire.

 

PM:
Who? Derek, do you know all these guys?

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
ND: Seripop?

 

DM (publicist): I just told them to do an article on Seripop. They're the graphic artists.

 

JT: Seripop is the most exciting thing to happen to the visual art world since ...

 

DM (publicist): You got our December newsletter man.

 

PM:
When we get press releases, every one says that the band is amazing. Usually I don't pay any mind. For whatever reason, I popped the CD in and was blown away.

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
JT: This man. When we win the "Best Album" Grammy, Derek is getting thanked first.

 

PM:
Oh, I remember now. Swollen Members?

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
ND: Wack.

 

PM:
Constantines?

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
ND: Whatever.

 

JT: You know, the first Constantines album I think is pretty lame, but I think their new stuff is supposed to be pretty good.

 

PM:
Who do you guys like?

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
ND: The Unicorns.

 

PM:
What about American bands?

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
ND: Paul Simon. That's about it.

 

AG: Fugazi.

 

ND: Blonde Redhead. We ran into him tonight.

 

PM:
Yeah, those guys are always in this area.

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
JT : I only like William Parker, who's a bass player.

 

PM:
Yeah, we love Thirsty Ear's artists.

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
AG: Los Rabbis.

 

PM:
You gave them props. Oh man, someone is going to go look up Lost Rabbis on Google right now.

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
AG: No, not Lost Rabbis. Los Rabbis. Los as in Spanish.

 

PM:
Alright, I think that's a rap. Thanks for the interview. That was fun and comparable to the rap interviews we've done.

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
ND: What rap interviews have you done?

 

PM:
Indies like Aesop Rock and Jurassic 5 to majors like Common.

 

The Unicorns: Part 2:
ND: Those guys are considered independent? Aesop Rock is pretty huge. Any other Def Jukies?

 

The Unicorns - The Unicorns: We spent an hour with these dudes and didn't find out dick The Last Emperor Part One: Despite the hold ups, <i>Music, Magic, Myth</i> isn't compromised
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