In the real world, there'''s no better feeling than running into an ex-girlfriend who'''s gotten fat and unattractive since she dumped you. In the world of pop culture couples, the relative answer to that must be when your ex-girlfriend'''s married and divorced a redneck dancer and has her career firmly placed in the toilet. What would feel even better, I imagine, is the ex trying to appropriate your successful, adult sound for her very own and falling flat on her face for her efforts.
Welcome to ''"Gimme More,''" the new Britney Spears single, which is as rife with retarded ''"adult''" sexuality as ''"I'''m A Slave 4 U''" was, only presumably without a jackable video to go along with it. When Justin Timberlake sings about being ''"Lovestoned''" or bringing ''"Sexyback,''" you can believe it. He'''s still a young man who can, without question, bed any woman he lays eyes on. Britney, on the other hand, is a mother twice over. Contrary to popular belief, mothers are not sexy, although given Britney'''s reverence for Madonna, her confusion is understandable.
Full of droning, low electronic bass lines, ''"Gimme More''" is a song you almost want to like and certainly one you'''ll be forced to hear for the next three months. It'''s Britney'''s bid to recall the pop genius of ''"Toxic''" and the sexiness of ''"I'''m A Slave 4 U,''" but it falls short. What'''s key to Britney'''s appeal is the ability of the audience to almost believe the song, which she ruins by breathing ''"It'''s Britney, bitch''" before the song starts. Where her other hits have been more undeniable than they'''ve been insipid, ''"Gimme More,''" with its chant of ''"Gimme gimme gimme gimme''" in the chorus, leaves the listener wondering if millions of dollars can'''t always buy a good song or if it can'''t make you know the difference between the good and the bad. Regardless of whether we want Britney to give us more, we'''re getting it.
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